204: Less Should. More You.
Welcome to the Harnessing Happiness Podcast.
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Hello and welcome to Harnessing Happiness with myself
Sarah J Naylor.
Thank you again for joining me.
It's great to be back with another Sarah's
Soundbite.
So what am I going to talk about
today?
Well, there's a thing because I was mulling
over all the things that were running through
my mind and all the things I want
to talk about and there is just so
much.
But really, I guess it comes down to
a blend of things from the conversations I've
been having lately with podcast guests, if you've
listened to the conversation I've had with Carol
and Louise of late about curiosity and about
being true to yourself, and then I've had
a host of meetings with other people.
And it all comes back to this need
to be true to ourselves.
And so that's what I thought I really
wanted to talk about, because we live in
a world that is so noisy with mainstream
media, marketing, we've got stuff coming at us
from all angles, telling us that we need
to be like this, like that, own this,
do that to be seen as successful, which
actually is a load of rubbish.
Success comes from within.
It comes from yourself.
It comes from feeling happy and content within
any amount of products and things that you
can buy.
Yeah, they're nice.
Don't get me wrong.
I think, you know, having a nice piece
of artwork, a nice bit of jewellery.
Oh, look, I have a nice silver necklace
for those of you watching on video.
Do you know what?
Bought it in a charity shop.
It was a pound.
I thought that's silver.
That is, you don't get many gems these
days in a charity shop.
And actually, though, to be truthful, I'll share
with you the dress I've got on at
the moment.
Again, charity shop, because I'll be honest, I
can't bear spending proper money on clothes unnecessarily.
So much has been manufactured en masse that
goes and ends up in landfill.
And this isn't supposed to be a ranty,
ranty podcast, but it's too much.
There is too much out there.
And I'm sure all of you listening, well,
I hope all of you listening will agree
with me to a degree on that.
There's been too much that's been overproduced.
We're sold constantly to buy all this stuff.
And all we're doing is making other people
rich and actually making ourselves more miserable in
the meantime, because all we keep on wanting
to do is to consume, to work to
the narrative that's telling us that that's what
it is.
And actually, when you understand that that is
the narrative, once you can hear what's going
on, once you can see what's going on,
you can distance yourself from it.
I mean, even as early this year as
I was, well, Christmas time, I say early
this year, but you know, the seasonal stuff,
going into the local supermarket and, you know,
you're bombarded with all the seasonal produce and
your brain saying, oh, I ought to be
buying that.
And your financial mind's going, you don't need
that rubbish.
Then you've got this argument inside going, well,
actually, are you being tight?
And why are you?
No, I'm not being tight, but the conditioning's
telling you you're being tight for not buying
the stuff that you're being sold to, which
you don't actually need.
And it's just packaging and it's full of
calories anyway.
So I know that the noise and I
hear what you are thinking and you are
saying, and I don't want to add to
that, which is why as a coach, I
don't go out there and promote myself particularly
because there's so much noise in the coaching
sector as well.
To be honest, I very much believe in
energetics and allowing things to flow, the quantum
and trusting the process and believing that everything
is working out wonderfully because it is, because
what we perceive, we believe, what we think
about is, because life is an illusion of
our own creation.
Once we can step away from, as I
said, the noise, once we can see what
it is, when we move away from mainstream
media, the marketing and all the stuff that's
going on and separate ourselves from it and
start to dig in and find out, you
know, about us, about what floats your own
boat and you take a step into that.
That's when all the magical stuff starts to
happen.
I have always embraced, I like the treasure
actually, I've always embraced sort of loving going
to my grand straw and finding out, you
know, what's in there.
And that sort of has replicated itself throughout
my life.
And actually, if you start to think about
what it was that you loved doing as
a child before potentially you then got funnelled
into a career that might not been of
your choosing or you've chopped and changed from
job to job to job because you've never
found your feet, it's about coming back to
the self.
What is it?
What floats your boat?
What really excites you?
Not what other people think that you ought
to be doing or you should be doing,
what your family think, your friends think, your
children think or what have you, but what
floats your boat.
And when you step into the power of
that, that's when, as I said, the magic
starts to happen.
Hey, it's not easy.
And sadly, I'm estranged from my son and
have been for over three and a half
years because I'm living my life on my
terms.
I'm hoping at some point in the future,
things will change.
But at the moment, we haven't spoken for
three and a half years, which is sad.
I'm not going to dwell upon it, but
I have to live my life for me,
not to make somebody else happy, if that
makes sense.
And part of me enjoying my life was
when I created my Lucy Loves Latex Instagram
account because I discovered a love of latex
in my mid 50s.
You know, it doesn't look like it at
the moment.
For those of you watching as I'm wearing
a sea salt summer dress, but you know
what, every so often it's lovely getting dressed
up and creating content and having a bit
of fun.
And, you know, if that's part of my
life, that's part of my life.
It's who I am.
It's permission to be yourself.
So what is it that you love doing?
It could be that you enjoy wearing kilts.
It could be enjoying that you like having
a packed lunch every day when you're sitting
in the garden.
I don't know.
We've all got different things that we enjoy
doing.
But how often do we look into that?
How often do we embrace it?
How often do we get stuck in a
narrative that has been brainwashing us for forever
and a day?
But how often do we step away from
it and then start to give ourselves permission
to be less should, more you?
You know, I'll repeat again.
It's magical.
You know, we moved to the coast, my
husband and I, coming up for three years
ago, and it was a big shift from
living in the Midlands in the UK.
But it's been brilliant.
We're part of a community here now that
has just really just keeps on unfolding.
The more we do what we enjoy doing,
the more connections we make, the more conversations
we have, the more we do as a
result.
But hey, you know, I understand as well
how you can get to being and feeling
stuck.
Because I was, well, I got divorced 21
years ago now, and I really hadn't got
a life at that time because I'd got
caught up into a relationship whereby I went
to work, came home from work, and really
didn't do anything else.
Whereas over the last 21 years, I've had
this curiosity, this open mind, and I've really
dug deep into discovering and rediscovering who I
am and reawakening what is already within me.
And it just keeps on expanding, expanding, expanding.
I mean, I've had all nature of experiences
and opportunities presented to me.
And, you know, I keep on looking at
and rediscovering things.
Like I said earlier about what floated your
boat as a child, what you've done in
the past, what you've let go, because life
happens.
We know life happens, and we can end
up, I say, getting stuck, and we need
to get out of that.
But it's only when we change our behavior,
because it always comes back to the self
and how we can change what we do
and how we think.
Because we aren't our behavior, you know, we
have that control over the mindset, and we
can change the words that we use, the
dialogue we use, and we can do things,
and we keep it in the present moment.
And instead of saying, I want to be
doing this in the future, or I will
be doing this, I will be doing that,
say, I am.
This is what I am.
This is what I'm doing, because that brings
it into the present moment.
One of the things I've started to do
just recently is refurbishing handbags and doing some
refurb on some old bits of furniture.
To be honest, I get excited about too
many different things, and I'm always doing something.
And actually, I need to stop a little
bit more often, spend some time meditating.
But then I'm going, oh, I could be
doing this, and I could be doing that.
But it's about leaning into who you are
and what works for you, and that's the
beauty of it.
You know, I've covered rather a lot of
ground in this episode, and I'm sure maybe
some of you would want to hear more
about one subject than another.
You know, and if you do, please let
me know, because for me, that helps me
create the content that I can share with
you through my short soundbites, because I've got
so much I can talk about.
And I don't want to spend too much
time just going on one subject, because I
know there's so many different things that I
can talk about.
But I'm also acutely aware that there are
certain things that people do want to hear
more of than others.
But what I would like to finish on
is just be yourself.
Be true to yourself.
Find out what that means.
Be curious.
Have an open mind.
Explore.
Try new things.
Do different things.
And make today the first day of the
rest of your life, every day, and just
do something different.
And in the meantime, just please do subscribe
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or on any of your podcast platforms, to
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of Sarah's Soundbite on Harnessing Happiness.
And thank you all for listening.
Take care for now and have a great
week.
Bye.
Thanks for listening to the Harnessing Happiness podcast
with Sarah J Naylor.
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